Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Day 7: Fear

Day 7: The thing you're most afraid of.

Without getting too deep about fear of death and losing loved ones and the things most people are legitimately afraid of, I will tell you about my fear of birds. It's not just a fear, it's a straight up phobia, ornithophobia to be exact. I'm afraid of most animals, really, but birds take the cake and it's probably because I can't stand on a chair to escape them like I can a snake or spider or rat. I cannot even put a real picture of a bird on this blog because it will make me feel panicked. I was going to put a cartoon picture of a bird up, but I was afraid I would see a real bird picture if I googled "Cartoon Bird". I hope you find how serious I am funny at least. 

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Instead you get a picture of Lucille Ball who was also afraid of birds! {credit}
From what I know, I have always been afraid of birds, but the phobia has gotten worse with age. I'm capable of going outside and everything, wild birds are less likely to approach anyway. It's actually domesticated birds I am most afraid of because they are friendly. My grandma recalls a time when we visited family who had parakeets flying in their house and one flew straight into my long hair and got stuck. She thinks this is why I'm afraid of birds. I think the story is fake because I can't imagine living through that horrific experience. Gahhhh. My grandma can also tell you true stories of the times her cats have released live birds in the house when I was there and I completely abandoned her, locking myself in a bathroom until she rid the house of the little horrors.

Once in fourth grade my music teacher brought her parakeet into class and promised it would never leave her shoulder. I bet you can guess that for some reason that day the parakeet decided it would fly away from her shoulder and onto mine. TRUE STORY. Poor bird. I swatted it off of me so fast and ran crying out of the classroom, it had to be more traumatized than me. I blame that teacher for my lack of musicality.

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This is a bird I can get behind. {credit}
If I see a parakeet in person I will walk the other way. If I see a parrot in person, I will run the other way like a raving lunatic. This is probably why I don't enjoy Santa Monica or Venice Beach as much as most people. I will avoid aviaries at the zoo and will not go into pet stores for fear a parrot is loose inside (FYI: this has happened to me more than once). There is even an awesome antique mall by my house that I won't go to because there is a huge white parrot inside that I came to know the hard way. And to make matters worse, my ornithophobia is one of the many reasons I could never be in a relationship with bird lover Mark Salling. Boo (just kidding, Tyler). I have had a Twitter conversation with Dominic Monaghan about how to get over my fear of birds, but I'm not testing that out anytime soon. At least not without a hefty payout.

And don't try to trick me by bringing a bird around me, it's seriously not funny (even if I am willing to poke fun at my phobia). My friends know that if they ever did that they would no longer be my friend again. Seriously.


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