I have been ruminating on what I want to post on my blog about what I have been going through with my biological father since Saturday night. There is a fine line in the world of blogging between sharing yourself and sharing too much because it affects too many people. I have only not posted because of what may happen once I cross that line even though I cannot express in words how much I want to share and how little I really care about those repercussions when I look at the big picture. (If you follow me on Instagram you can read an oversimplified version).
I promise to write something eventually, but right now I need to request your prayer. I am desperate and on my knees in front of Jesus praying, if nothing else, that He gives me peace to accept that he has everything under control. I know that He does, but it still has not squelched my worry or diffused my anger.So I ask you to join me in prayer for my family right now.
My mom continues to amaze me in ways I cannot articulate - not because I don't want to share right now, but because there aren't any words to use that would give her enough credit. In a time where I want to resort to elementary school tactics of putting people on blast via Facebook and on this blog, when I want to use my fists to resolve a conflict for the first time in my life, when I want to take my anger out on family members who are passive in a time where they need to take action - she is making sure I do my best to be like Jesus in a situation that is a clear orchestration of the Enemy.
I hate cryptic blogs and tweets and status updates, so I hate that I'm posting this. But I hope you will still send me and my family, especially my baby sister, your prayers and I thank you so deeply in advance for that. Maybe I will find the strength and wisdom to update later today.