Day 18: Childhood

Day 18: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and remember how you felt.

I'm the oldest in my family, so yes, I was very spoiled as a child. My parents gave me a lot of affirmation and, probably like most kids who receive a lot of affirmation, I thought everyone wanted to hear what I had to say. I was also pretty intelligent as a young kid, which only added to the affirmation I was given and the little ego that grew and grew.

I mean, you have to have self confidence for those bows, am I right?

By the time I got to kindergarten, I was a 4 year old Type A personality ready to take on the world. I was nervous to integrate with kids my age (they weren't as impressed with me as the adults were), but I made friends nonetheless. It wasn't until one day when I was animatedly telling a classmate a story that my world was rocked: my classmate responded to my story with, "You talk too fast, you talk too much and you talk too loud." Woah. What? I mean, obviously I do. I still do. But her blunt accusation completely wiped out all my self-confidence. I was shattered.

For the most part, this a silly story that my family likes to tell all the time because of the little girl's accurate observation, but I really do think it impacted me and is at least in part why I have some social anxiety with people my age. I usually choose to be quiet until I trust people to accept me and I really think that little girl had a lot to do with it. Funny enough, I kept in touch with that girl all through school and always had this weird resentment toward her. It wasn't until I was in high school that I realized it was because of this story!

Can you trace any behavioral traits back to a childhood story? It's kind of crazy how something so small can make such a big impact!

Review: Tasty Kake Candy Bar Kakes

As a member of Influenster I get fun stuff sent to me to try out and review. Influenster never disappoints in sending great items from great brands, but when I got to sample Tasty Kake's Candy Bar Kakes in the Spring Vox Box I was pretty excited!! I'm not even sure that Tasty Kakes are available in California, at least when I visited New Jersey a few years ago I remember stocking up on them because they weren't in every store where I live. Hopefully things are changing!! 

I got to try Tasty Kake's S'mores flavored Candy Bar Kake and it was absolutely delicious! It was just like eating a s'more but without all the mess! That's what I loved most about it. I also loved all of the textures in this dessert: the hard chocolate candy shell (made with real Hershey's chocolate), the soft and moist graham cracker flavored cake, and the delicious marshmallow filling: all excellent together! If you love s'mores you have to try these! If you love dessert, they're a must!

I can't wait to try the Reese's flavor... if I can find them in California *fingers crossed*!

The suggested retail price for these delicious Kakes: Single Serve - $1.69 Family Pack - $4.49

The Tasty Baking Company, founded in 1914 and located in Philadelphia, Pa., is one of the country’s leading bakers of snack cakes, pies, cookies, and donuts. As a subsidiary of Flowers Foods, the company has bakery facilities in Philadelphia and Oxford, Pa. that offer more than 100 products under the Tastykake brand name. Celebrated for their freshness and quality ingredients, the Tastykake line includes such classics as Krimpets, Kandy Kakes, Juniors, and Kreamies. For more information on Tasty Baking Company, visit www.tastykake.com.

I was given a complimentary sample of this product in exchange for an honest review.

Day 17: Favorite

Day 17: A favorite photo of yourself and why it's your favorite.

It's not every day you wrangle three kiddos under age 4 into a picture!    It's not necessarily my favorite picture of me, but it's one of my favorite pictures in general with me in it. Since I've always wanted to be a mom but I don't have kids of my own yet, I pour all of my momma-esque love into my niece and nephews. They really light up my life. The moment my niece was born I feel like I changed as a person because I wanted there to be more good in the world for her. I can't even imagine how I will feel when I have kids of my own! These kids are the greatest and I'm so happy this picture captures us all together.

Day 16: Lot

Day 16: Something difficult about your lot in life and how you're overcoming it.

 

As regular readers know, I don't have a relationship with my biological father at all. I cut all ties to him (and he might say he's cut all ties with me), but it's a decision that I am more confident in every single day of my life. My dad has psychological issues that make him an unpredictable person and oftentimes downright mean and scary. I have watched others suffer from his actions my whole life and have been hurt on occasion by him, but last year I put my foot down when I saw the deep, down person he really is. Remember my advice to believe others when they show you who they really are? Unfortunately this applies to family, too. 

Because of God's grace I have gotten through more than a year without my biological father and, to be honest, it's been one of the most liberating years of my life. It has created strain between myself and other family members who don't/won't/can't understand what I'm going through and it's no secret that the impact it has made on my relationship with my youngest sister has been the greatest difficulty of all; but I have gotten through all that day by day with God's grace as well. I know God is keeping both my sister and I safe in His hands because He is our real father. 

I also strongly believe that God fills in our blanks. We live in a fallen world and we have free choice. My bio-father has made the choice to live the life that he lives. I have made the choice to separate myself from that. God doesn't force us to do what He wants, but he does fill in the blanks and He filled in my blank by giving me my step-dad. In the few years that my step-dad has been in my life, he has made a more positive impact on me than my bio-father ever has simply by unconditionally being there for me. My step-dad gives me his time and his love and things are not complicated. There are no games. He is my dad and I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for that. 

If you are going through something difficult, make sure to keep your eye out because I'm sure God is filling in your blanks for you.

Day 15: Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Day 15: A Day in the Life. Happy Birthday, Grandma!

To be honest, a day in my everyday life is pretty boring: I wake up, I go to work (where as of right now I do very little to brag about), I hopefully go to the gym after work, and then I spend the rest of the evening trying to be productive but probably just watch tv. {Speaking of tv: Did anyone catch The Mindy Project last night?! OH. EM. GEE!!!! Why do summer hiatuses exist? I need more!}. So since my everyday is uneventful, I figured I'd still blog every day in May, but use this day to wish my grandma a very happy birthday!

 

Every grandma is a treasure, but my grandma is a special kind of treasure. When she was a girl she didn't have the easiest life, but she always had faith inside of her. One day she wandered into a church, gave her life to Jesus and has never looked back. She has been married to my grandpa since she was 14 and so far they have shared more than 60 years of the fullest marriage I've ever seen. My grandma raised four kids and has seventeen grandkids. Her love, faith, perseverance and stoicism through life's storms are what set my grandma apart for me. She has instilled no-nonsense faith in me and strength to always find good.

Cheers to you, Grandma! I hope you have an incredible birthday! If it's half as great as you then it will be pretty darn great!

Day 14: Ten

Day 14: Name ten things that make you really happy. 

1. Jesus and all the lessons he teaches me in the strangest/coolest/most interesting ways

2. Tyler, especially because of the adorable fit he'll throw if he's below Jerry Trainor on this list.
3. My family, most of the time (just kidding. kinda).
4. My friends. They are pretty superior and I have the favorited tweets to prove it.
5. Jerry Trainor, duh.
6. Groundlings Theatre, except on $100 New Years Eve Show (that night I just liked them)
7. Good books {here's proof of my love}
8. Bruxie, Pizza Port and Porto's make me happy until the next day when I weigh myself. 

9. Reunion/Anniversary shows by my favorite bands (still waiting on you, Over It). 

10. My niece and nephews because they're cool enough for their own category. 

Day 13: Apology

Day 13: Issue a public apology.

{back story}

My dear baby sister, Morgan, 

I'm so sorry that I'm not more for you. We come from a complicated family that does not look the prettiest from the outside, but I believe that God uses all things for good for those who love him and we are no different. I remind myself of this every time I think of you. I'm sorry that I can no longer take care of you like a big sister should and I'm sorry that you might think it means I don't care. But believe me when I say that I think of you and pray for you every single day.

 

I worry that people will tell you differently. I worry that because of my position on the outskirts of your life that people might simply misunderstand. But I pray that you will always know how much I love you. And even if you do doubt my love for you, I pray that you will understand someday, even if that means I have to wait until your older.

 

I know a lot of the things I worry about for you are completely out of my control, but I want to apologize to you nonetheless. You deserve the best in the world and you don't get it. I know you are a strong, smart, incredible girl and I have no doubt that you will soon be an even stronger, smarter and more intelligent woman. I am reminded by Jesus every day that you are his to take care of, not mine. Because of that I know I don't need to worry, but I do. Hopefully one day when we aren't separated I'll finally learn that lesson.

Infinite love from your big sister,
xo Danielle